Mona Lisa

Des Moines Public Schools are having "Fall Parties" this week in classrooms around the city. Can anyone guess what occasion this might be centered upon? Hmmm, let me think. Hallweeen, perhaps? No costumes allowed though! Are we afraid of offending all the non-devil-worshippers by celebrating a demonic holiday? When in the last, oh I don't know, 50 years at least, has this holiday been about anything other than candy and playing dress up? Why are we trying to be politically correct about that? Has the whole world gone mad? Or just stupid?

Do you ever feel like one day all the dead souls of all the spiders, centipedes, and other bugs you have killed over the years will one day come together as a collective whole, and get back at you one way or another? You don’t know when. You have no idea how this is even metaphysically possible, but you know deep down that it really could happen.

My new least favorite word in the English language.
I can barely stop myself from scoffing and rolling my eyes when someone uses that word in everyday speech.

Assignment: Catch a spider. Put in jar. Take to school to watch them build a web.

Reality: a 5 year old can’t catch a spider. Well, he can, but he can’t do it and keep it alive. Therefore, mom has to catch them. Between the 2 of us, we caught 5 spiders and kept 2 of them alive.

Hyper Reality: we did not have to leave the house to do this assignment.

Which leads to the next blog post...

(roughly direct quote, as I was tucking her into bed)
Mom, you shut my door?
Sure….why do you like your door shut?
Because then no monsters can come in.
Duh. I can’t believe I even had to ask.